Finding an Online Sugar Daddy
Someone once said, “Love exists in as many ways as there are angles of light on the ocean.” I think that’s a really beautiful quote, and as poetic images go, pretty accurate. I also think that sugar dating is the same way, in that there is a nearly endless potential variety of arrangements that two people can make together.
But be that as it may, there are two main categories of sugaring nowadays: physical, and thanks to modern technology, online. Anyone thinking “I want a sugar daddy” needs to consider for herself which of these categories she wants to go into, though increasingly, I’m seeing people on both sides of the lifestyle (daddies and babies) opt for the latter. I think there are some solid reasons for this.
First I want to get into a bit of history, so we can see where sugaring has been, where it is now, and maybe where it’s going. No great surprise, but modern sugaring evolved from the male-female dynamic that has existed in people for thousands of years: men of financial means (possessing great resources) become romantically/sexually involved with often significantly younger women, who in turn get to experience a luxurious lifestyle otherwise not available to them.
It’s a relationship structure that is much maligned, especially in current times, but it’s the most natural thing in the world for human beings: men are attracted to younger mates because they are more fertile, while women are attracted to materially capable men (who are usually more advanced in age) because they are better able to care for offspring. We like to freak out over wide age differences within couples now, but it’s what humans do, and what we have always done.
Evolution has programmed males to look for young, healthy females to mate with. It has also programmed females to seek out males who have plenty of resources, so as to best support offspring.
We see examples of this all over history, especially with the “kept woman” (a term I’ve never personally cared for) phenomenon. This is represented by such historical courtesans as Diane de Portiers, Madame de Pompadour, and Nell Gwyn, each of whom was involved with a King in her own time.
What’s interesting (and worthy of emulation) about these particular women is that they were forward-thinking: rather than splurging, they saved most of the money that their “daddies” gave them. That way, by the time they no longer had youth to attract wealthy men, they instead had means of their own.
Fast forward to the early 20th century, and we have the amusing case of Adolph Spreckels, a wealthy man married to a girl 24 years his junior. Because Spreckels’ business was in the actual sugar (as in the sweet little white crystals) industry, his wife used to refer to him as her “Sugar Daddy”; the first recorded instance of the term’s use.
More: How To Get a Sugar Daddy
It caught on, and became a popular term for well-off men who liked to spoil their young girlfriends. It was already well-known by the time a caramel lollipop was renamed the “Sugar Daddy” (to be later accompanied by a candy called the Sugar Baby), but considering that it was originally known as the “Papa Sucker” (ewww…), there may have been other motives for reconsidering its name.
How Online Sugar Daddies Became Popular
But the modern age of sugaring didn’t really begin until 2006, when Brandon Wade started SeekingArranagement.com (which has now changed to simply Seeking.com). That website really did change everything, because it brought something that had always had to be done shamefully and in secret out into the open; at least, relatively speaking.
It “legitimized” the sugaring lifestyle by giving daddies and babies a place to conglomerate and meet, and made it far easier than it had ever been for people to connect. From that point on, if you ever said to yourself “I want a sugar daddy”, a bit of research was all it took to know exactly where you needed to go and what you needed to do.
Even SeekingArrangement, though, didn’t give birth to the whole new category of our lifestyle that is online sugaring. That happened with the rise of online camming sites, especially ones like Chaturbate and MyFreeCams, which have by far the greatest amount of traffic.
It was free sites like these, as opposed to the obsolete paywall model (requiring a paid “subscription” to see nudity) that were responsible, however. That’s because online sugaring almost always begins when fat-walleted big spenders, known as “whales” in the business, take a liking to a particular webcam model and begin showering her with tips to show their appreciation.
As you might imagine, this warms the girl considerably to the generous fellow, and she becomes willing (eager, really) to have long conversations with him and build a real friendship. If the man is interested in continuing to spoil his favorite cam model, this can (and often does) lead to an arrangement.
The daddy provides gifts by mail and an allowance via tips or Paypal, and his sugar baby gives him companionship over the computer and by phone, along with whatever video interaction he may desire. Needless to say, the tipping mechanic is essential to getting this started, because it allows for unlimited generosity; on the “pay” sites, it just doesn’t work.
Cam girls are in the best position to find generous sugar daddies who only want online relationships. Many “whales” seek online companionship, but not physical intimacy.
If you’re wondering why an obviously well-off guy would use his money to get a virtual sugar baby rather than one he can spend time with and enjoy in person, there are many reasons this can happen.
One good friend of mine has an online sugar daddy whose wife is almost always on top of him; if he isn’t at work (where she often shows up unannounced to check on him), he better be at home or out with her, or she thinks something is going on. The only place she trusts him to be unsupervised is in his den in their house, where he supposedly finishes up projects from the office.
In reality, of course, he sneaks in time to talk to my friend. Another girl I know was involved with a wealthy New York attorney who literally worked 14 hours a day; he simply didn’t have time to be with a girlfriend physically. As for me, I once had an online sugar daddy who was intellectually gifted and had always excelled in his education, but was socially awkward to a (sometimes ridiculous) extreme. He couldn’t function with other people and he knew it.
Even with all his money, he doubted her could get a girl in real life, and he was too shy and afraid to give it a shot. I put up with his many eccentricities for awhile, but ultimately I ended our arrangement because he was utterly incapable of empathizing with me or even understanding when he had said something hurtful to me. I really believe he has some form of autism or something, so it’s not his fault, but I need a sugar daddy who is both willing AND able to respect my feelings.
Getting an online-only sugar daddy is best for girls who are not comfortable with the idea of spending time with sugar daddies in the real world.
Of course, the reasons a girl might be thinking “I want a sugar daddy, but only online” are a lot more straightforward: it’s usually because she doesn’t feel entirely comfortable sugaring in person, and she feels like doing it online is less of a commitment. Which it is in many ways, but you do miss out on some of the perks (vacations, dates, and actual shopping trips).
On the upside, you save a lot of time and can do just as well financially as with an in-person daddy. For me, when I need a sugar daddy, it’s online all the way.
If you feel the same, I recommend Chaturbate as the cam site of choice for finding your online daddy. Like I said, MFC is good too, but Chaturbate is even bigger now and just can’t be beat for this purpose. Don’t forget to use the tag “#sugarbaby” in your public channel there; it makes things a lot easier by helping interested guys identify you.
If you’re really serious about giving online sugaring a shot, make sure to check out my Online Sugar Baby Guide here.