How To Be a Sugar Daddy
It’s time to address the daddies again, because as I recall, I’ve only done that once so far on this blog, and they need just as much help and advice when getting started in the lifestyle as the babies do. I know from speaking with them that when they become curious about sugaring, it’s common for them to wonder just what it entails, and exactly how to become a sugar daddy. Let’s see if I can clear a few things up.
So, just what is sugaring, and how does it work? Well, as I frequently like to say, sugaring and sugar relationships are all about honesty. In traditional romance, there remains a cultural expectation that there will be a one-way flow of material resources between partners, usually from the boyfriend/husband to the girlfriend/wife as the male pays for the female’s meals, her participation in other activities they may do together, and the occasional gifts.
But this is never specifically defined, and despite the fact that one partner is quietly expected (more or less as part of the relationship paradigm) to effectively give money to the other, there’s a kind of subtle awkwardness surrounding the exchange, and usually no one is comfortable even talking about it.
Sugaring brings this aspect of dating out into the open. In a sugar relationship, a financially capable (he doesn’t have to be rich) man called a “sugar daddy” dates a usually much younger woman, called a “sugar baby”. The girl’s typical youth makes for a more mutually beneficial relationship, since men tend to prefer younger girlfriends, while someone in that age range (early 20s is pretty common, with daddies often in their 50’s and 60s or above) is too young to be financially established, and best positioned to appreciate the daddy’s resources.
Sugaring Arrangements Explained
Their relationship, which is sometimes called an “arrangement” in the lifestyle, is explicit about the sugar baby’s receipt of material wealth from the sugar daddy. This usually takes the form of an agreed-upon weekly or monthly cash “allowance” for the baby, shopping trips where the daddy buys her various gifts, and of course, dates together on the daddy’s dime. Aside from the upfront nature of payment, their relationship is otherwise “normal”, and may or may not include a sexual aspect.
If you feel like what I’m describing resembles prostitution, that’s understandable. It’s wrong, but it’s understandable. Don’t worry, people said the same thing back when what we now call “traditional” dating was first invented, and women would be given free meals, show tickets, and other niceties by men they might be going to bed with.
Actual prostitutes came to call such women “charity girls”, complaining about the stiff competition from women who were willing to “give away” sex for the price of dinner and a movie. What critics then and now have always failed to realize is that, unlike in the cold business transaction of prostitution, there’s a real, personal relationship between people who date (the old way or the sugar way). Generosity toward someone you care about, be it a friend or something deeper, isn’t the same thing as hiring an escort for an hour between the sheets.
Of course, part of understanding how to be a sugar daddy is being aware of some of the challenges and less than ideal circumstances you’ll face. The relationship is more similar to a traditional one than you probably think, but there are a number of important differences. Probably the one you most need to consider is the potential for a disparity between your feelings for your sugar baby, and hers for you.
For many older men, the experience of being with a young woman in ways that could eventually include intimate acts can be powerful and even overwhelming. They feel an intense boost to their self-confidence, their perception of their own masculinity, and a profound sense of accomplishment, along with equally potent gratitude to the source of these boons. It can be easy to fall for a sugar baby quickly and strongly, to a degree she may not quite keep up with right away.
Depending on her mindset (some are mostly in it for the money, which is a mistake, but a common one), she may not ever feel the same way. This is a great way to get hurt, so you want to be on the watch for it, and understand how your expectations for the relationship match up with your baby’s.
You’ll also want to keep appearances in mind. Like I said, having a young, attractive girlfriend while you’re in your 50s or 60s can make you feel great, and other men will certainly admire and envy you for it. Unfortunately, there are those who will be driven by more traditional values to judge you for the age difference in your relationship. Some daddies will say the hell with what other people think, but many don’t have this luxury, especially men whose professional careers in business or politics depend on their image.
So understand that depending on how much younger your sugar baby is than you, you may encounter this problem. Knowing how much it will or won’t affect you (based on your personal and professional circumstances) is an important part of knowing how to be a sugar daddy.
Being an Honest Sugar Daddy
Another issue you should know about is one that affects all too many relationships, and certainly not just sugaring: the truth, and each partner’s commitment to it. I said sugar dating was about honesty, and I always recommend to sugar babies that they embrace it as the best policy even when that doesn’t seem like the easiest or most convenient approach, but many choose not to take my advice.
Specifically, I’m talking about a single sugar baby dating more than one sugar daddy at the same time, while telling each that he’s the only one. To be clear, I don’t judge anyone (baby or daddy) who’s open and upfront about intending to sugar with more than one person; I’ve done it myself. But you better believe I judge the hell out of anyone who lies about it, because it’s stupid, disrespectful, and hurtful. But like I said, some will do it, so get your feelings about that in order, and keep jealousy at bay.
If it’s something you’re okay with and simply prefer not to know about, then hey, you do you, but personally I recommend not continuing a sugar relationship with any baby you catch doing this, and likewise, I urge you not to do it to your babies. This whole thing really does work a lot better when everyone is honest with each other.
There are a lot of other potential pitfalls to sugaring, especially for those still trying to figure out how to be a sugar daddy, but I’ll cover them in a future post. What I’ll leave you with today is a recommendation to consider sugaring online as a way to get started.
The way to do this is to visit a “camming” website where webcam models perform for tips. Chaturbate works best for this, as its large number of models offers the greatest potential for finding interested sugar babies, especially from the US and other English-speaking countries. Some will even make it easy for you by using tags like “sugar baby” in their public channels, while others would be perfectly open to the idea were it introduced to them. Either way, it’s not something to bring up immediately; approach a girl you like first, get to know and befriend her, and be generous with tips. Eventually, the time will be right to propose an arrangement.
If she agrees, you’ve got an online sugar baby, with whom you can share extensive correspondence over the Internet and telephone. With the obvious exception of physical contact, the relationship is surprisingly similar to what you’ll get if and when you decide to try sugar dating in person, making online sugaring a good way to “practice”. More than once, I’ve even seen online sugar babies be invited (and happily accept) to fly out and visit their daddies, so starting online can potentially even lead directly to a physical arrangement.
Alright, that’ll do for now. Best of luck, and I’ll have more for daddies in the future!