Platonic Sugar Daddy Arrangements
I feel like I should address a common myth among those in the sugaring community, because it’s not just factually wrong, but cheapening and downright insulting to the entire lifestyle. It really bothers me that so many people who should know better believe this, and especially that a lot of them are the ones most directly affected by it: sugar babies. I’m talking about the notion of the platonic sugar daddy (having a sugar daddy without meeting) here, but that myth isn’t that such people don’t exist; it’s that they do.
What you’ll learn in this post:
1) Why platonic sugar daddies are a thing.
2) How to find a sugar daddy without meeting.
That was a little confusing, so let me be clear: people think that there’s no such thing as a platonic sugar daddy, but there very much is, and I don’t even know where this misconception came from. I can only imagine it has to do with the (even more wrong) myth that sugaring is a form of prostitution, and sugar babies are hookers. This really undermines the legitimacy of sugar relationships, which can be just as deep and come in just as many forms as more traditional ones.
I personally know a girl who had a platonic relationship with her sugar daddy for almost two years. The man’s wife had recently passed away and he wanted companionship, but in all their time together, he never made a move on her sexually. Despite that, they were virtually inseparable, and would frequently go off on vacations together.
Again, things never got physical, and from what my friend tells me, his attitude toward her was more paternal than anything else. Her tendency to literally address him as “Daddy”, along with the age difference between them (he was in his 60’s, she was college-aged), made most people they met while together assume they were actually father and daughter, and it was a custom of theirs not to correct anyone who did so. When you consider all that, it might have been a little creepy if they HAD been sexual. Since they weren’t, though, it’s actually kind of sweet.
Why Platonic Sugar Daddies Exist
This desire for a paternal, mentoring relationship with a warmly-regarded young woman they can spoil rotten is one of the possible motivations a platonic sugar daddy may have (I’ve experienced it myself, in fact), but it’s not the only one. If anything, it more often affects married men who are unhappy with their wives in some way, but unwilling to leave them for some personal reason. A friend of mine (not the same one I was just talking about) was once seeing a married sugar daddy for about ten months without him ever making a move on her physically.
In that case, her daddy definitely was attracted to her, as she mentioned he would frequently tell her how hot she looked, and from what I’ve gathered talking to her, she wouldn’t have been reluctant to get freaky with this guy. But while flirting was okay, actual sex was a red line for him, because he refused to cheat on his wife. What he wanted from my friend was an emotional connection (something that had apparently faded from his marriage). I guess his wife wasn’t the most intellectually stimulating person on Earth, either, because he also enjoyed deep, philosophical conversations with my friend that he wasn’t getting at home.
I want to take a minute here to get back to why it’s so unfortunate and harmful that many people assume sex has to be a part of sugaring. Sugar babies are NOT prostitutes. We’re human beings who are ready to offer our companionship and friendship, and possibly more, to other human beings who are able to offer to us in exchange.
Some of what our daddies offer can include money and material possessions, but that is not the entirety of the sugaring lifestyle. Some of the most outstanding people I’ve ever known have been my sugar daddies, and they have offered me much, much more than an allowance. They’ve provided a real emotional connection, they’ve taught me things I would never have learned without them, and they have helped me grow as a person (just as I hope I was able to do for them).
Some of these men I have been sexual with, others I have not. It was my choice in each case, and was never a condition of our arrangement. Sugar relationships are just as real and just as valid as any other kind, and just like others, they may or may not include sex. You can even have a sugar daddy without ever meeting, actually. Assuming that sex MUST be part of sugaring cheapens it severely, and insults everyone involved in this lifestyle.
There are aspects of love and companionship that get lost when a relationship is sexual. Many sugar babies and daddies realize that and embrace platonic arrangements.
I don’t fault the people who hold this misconception, since usually it is caused by genuine ignorance. Ignorance is only your fault if you choose not to learn, and most people who think sugar babies are hookers haven’t had time to educate themselves yet. But I urge everyone, especially everyone who reads my blog, to put in the effort to understand what sugaring is really about, so they can rid themselves of these false conclusions.
Let me drive that point home by mentioning that not only do many sugaring relationships not involve sex, but many sugar babies (and some daddies, as we’ve seen) prefer it this way, and are more comfortable with a platonic arrangement. Again, this isn’t because sex is some kind of “work” that is part of the “job” of sugaring, and some girls want to avoid that toil. There are a lot of different reasons a girl might not want to have sex while sugaring, and they’re as diverse as the reasons people decide they should or shouldn’t have sex in more traditional relationships.
Finding a Sugar Daddy Without Meeting Up
Rather than go into those reasons, which are personal to each sugar baby, I’ll close by offering some advice on how to find a platonic sugar daddy. As I talked about, it is certainly possible to do this with daddies whom you see in person. But that’s mostly a matter of chance, and you’ll have to sift through a lot of guys who expect sex (at least eventually) if you want to get to the ones who are strictly chaste. It’s possible, but to be honest, if you really want a platonic sugar daddy, the best and easiest way to get one is to simply look online, and keep your arrangement confined there.
What you want to do is go to a camming site (Chaturbate seems to work best for this) and perform as a cam model. This can be lucrative in itself if done right, but your focus should be on attracting whales above all else. The best ways to do that are to get yourself out there on social media sites as a cam girl, and use the tag “sugar baby” on your public channel within the camming site itself.
The social media presence will draw interested whales to see your show, and those among them who might want to be sugar daddies will see that you’re of like mind from the tag. With a little luck, this will lead to an online sugaring arrangement, which can pay every bit as well as in-person, is a lot easier to maintain, and involves no physical sex at all. In fact, in my experience, most such sugaring relationships are completely platonic; your daddy may request and pay for private shows with you, but won’t so much as ask you to get undressed during those shows.
And that’s how to find a platonic sugar daddy. They’re very real; don’t let anyone tell you they’re not. And those relationships are just as valid as any other, sugar or otherwise.